Reflections on 5 years as a librarian

Note: This was originally published on my old website on 2/27/19.

I'm five years into being librarian and I'm honestly surprised by where this profession has taken me. In a lot of ways, I feel like I made the right choice.

One, I have a community of colleagues, made up of librarians, library staff, students, higher ed staff, and faculty, that push my thinking and continue to motivate my work. I've found a number of collaborators who make me excited to work on new projects and maintain course on long-standing ones.

Two, I never thought I'd be someone interested in reading theory, let alone being excited to read and discuss it both leisurely or academically. But here I am, working on an edited collection with the homie, JRLM, on the intersection of Critical Race Theory (CRT) and LIS.

Third, I never thought I'd be editing a book, let alone one that a major press is interested in publishing. I still don't believe it and sometimes I'm like who am I to be doing this?

Fourth, I have always valued variety in my work as someone who's easily bored and I definitely get my fair share of that in my current role. Today, I went to a meeting as a collections selector, met with our assessment program manager to finalize our new teaching and instruction stats form, had lunch with another liaison to discuss common ground, attended a symposium session on computing and art, met with my CRT in LIS book co-editor and one of our contributors, attended a powerful teach-in organized by students around issues of A.I. and justice, and finished planning for an instruction session. Mixed into that were a number of emails that honestly seem to make up most of my work, sometimes. Granted, today was a longer day than most because of the teach-in, but the teach-in alone made my day.

Fifth, I get to learn from and be inspired by students (not as much as I'd like, but my role has changed a lot) and feel awe and confidence that the future is in some really capable hands. I was not nearly as self-assured and with it as many of the students I'm lucky enough to meet and work with (at all of the institutions I've worked at).

Sixth, before becoming a librarian, I really didn't know the power and agency that librarians have and the privilege that comes with working in academia. Of course, it comes with its own share of pain and frustration, but on the whole, I have a platform, whether at the local level with faculty, staff, students or administrators, or at a national level with conferences, social media, or publications. It might seem like much to some folks, but I can't take it for granted because it's not something I had before I joined this profession.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately, and maybe it's to remind myself of all of the positive things that I have from becoming a librarian, because of how tough it's been to be a woman of color in this profession and in the world. Change doesn't come easily and I should really take a lesson from the public administration side of my training, to take the small wins where I can get them. It's what will keep me going in the struggle against white supremacy, white fragility, structural and systemic racism and sexism and all the -isms.